Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
