nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
