What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
