We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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