Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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