I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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