i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
