I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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