no, he came in my armpit
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
