i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
