i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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