Whod you bang
My sheets look like a crime scene.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize