i'm signing you up for texting rehab
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
