it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Damn victory sex feels great
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
