So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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