They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
