Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
