i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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