super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
