I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
