He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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