dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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