the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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