I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
