these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
