Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
