did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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