batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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