So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
