Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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