No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This baby is an asshole
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
