I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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