im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
