I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
