best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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