One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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