so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
