1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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