someone threw a dead crab at me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize