I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
where are my eyebrows?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize