after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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