apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
