I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize