what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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