I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
