When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
