I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
