dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
