Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
