she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
