i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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