it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
