Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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