i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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