My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just pee around me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
