escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
