so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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