google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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