I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
