He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
