Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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