I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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