you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize