If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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