Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
