Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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